You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
