I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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