We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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