If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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