is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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