jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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