you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
