He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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