see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
