I feel great
I just peed on a car
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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