Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
