i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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