Only a mothe r could love this liver
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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