Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
