I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
