Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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