Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
