i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
