I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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