Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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