i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
