Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
