he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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