i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
