After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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