You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i barfeds in our rink
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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