What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
