First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
