FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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