Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
