There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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