can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
