for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
