I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
