i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
