that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
