I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
