idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
