I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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