tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
