and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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