I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
