I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize