margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Randomize
