I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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