Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
