Sponge bath it is.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
