That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
