she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
