Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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