who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
