I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
